Leatherman._He’s our sixth man off of the bench. He can’t guarantee success, but he sure does prevent a whole lot of failures. We met in Anchorage; he was a well-made American tool in our loving American family who was ready to travel the world. We first became acquainted after we forgot to purchase a can opener and were forced to crudely hack at a tin lid with our new friend to survive outside of Denali. It was love at first opened can of chicken. Leatherman doesn’t complain, doesn’t smell, doesn’t bend, doesn’t break, doesn’t rust, doesn’t wear out, and doesn’t pilfer my secret stashes of food, unlike just about everything else involved in Bound South. Leatherman is the overqualified corporate leader, while we are some cheap imitation of The Office. He possesses countless utility and skills and tools; we frantically call upon him to save our lives with just the knife and the pliers. Perhaps we’ll finally use the corkscrew in Ushuaia. Or cut some firewood in Patagonia. Leatherman is the chicken, we are the egg. Leatherman is the cart, we are the horse. Leatherman will return from Argentina as he always is: sterling, silver, and handsome. We will return from this trip emaciated, bilingual, and with embarrassing tan lines and some good stories. Most of those stories won’t mention Leatherman directly. Made-In-The-USA, Stainless Steel, Infinite-Utility, Multi-Tool-We’ll-Never-Lose-Leatherman, today is your day.
Posts tagged ‘leatherman’